FAQ

Frequently asked questions… that I made up

Q: Is this a scam?

A: No. I will send you art. I won’t spam your email. Here is a bit of proof.

 

Q: Why are you doing this?

A: I want to make art and I would be thrilled for the world to have it. Plus conceptually, it helps me execute the objectives and beliefs I have asserted in my artist statement quite well. But that’s getting too esoteric now, isn’t it?

 

Q: I could buy this at Ikea. This isn’t fine art.

A: First of all, that’s not a question. Secondly, I went to art school. I’m an artist. Whatever I do is art. Plus, Ikea charges actual money so this is obviously better.

 

Q: What if I dont like what you send me?

A: That is impossible. And if it were possible, you haven’t lost a darn thing.

 

Q: Are you super human?

A: Yes.

 

 

Sometimes.

 

Q: Why don’t you just charge for your work?

A: I value fame over money. Though both seem pretty great.

 

Q: Will you sign my painting?

Many people ask me if I sign my paintings. I sign them on the back in sharpie like so:

This is lovely but not as awesomly art exploitive as it could be. Soooo…to thank all my donors who give over $1,000 (which is currently no one haha), they will receive their free painting with my signature PAINTED on the FRONT. Woo! That’s gotta be worth millions more. So don’t hesitate to support the arts now.

 

Q: Can I at least pay for shipping?

A: Holy crap yes. Please donate. Lots of people keep asking me if they should donate as if I don’t want your money. I can assure you that is not the case. You aren’t paying for an original signed commissioned artwork. You aren’t paying for supplies. You aren’t paying for shipping and packaging. You aren’t paying for my hours of work. But you CAN donate to show that you appreciate all of these things. And I will appreciate your money in return. Here I’ll make it easy for you:

$25 – Keep Ali in the Black

I’d like to cover the cost of paints, canvas, packing, shipping and PayPal fees.

 
$50 – Feed a Starving Artist

I’d like to give Ali a some extra money for her time and hard work.

 
$100 – Affordable Art Patron

I’d like to donate the full price of what Ali would charge for an original commission.

 
$200 – Actual Art Patron

I’d like to donate the full price of what Ali should be charging for an original commission.

 
$1,000 – Platinum Patron

I’d like Ali to sign the FRONT of my painting

 
$+1,000 – Platinum Plus Patron

I’d like to donate what my painting will be valued at in the future once Ali is famous

 
$? – Name Your Own Donation

Donate whatever amount you want to thank Ali for her work
For the record: I was doing this way before Radiohead. Haha!