16 Jan

16) Pause for the Cause

Shot no.: 16
Song title: Pause for the Cause
Style: Swing
Tools needed: wide mouth sports jug, a destination

You gotta sip . . . then walk . . . then pause . . . yeah sip . . . . then walk . . . then pause . .

Many a time my friends and I find we need to get these two things simultaneously: drunk and to another location. When this is the case, we employ the technique my friend Trudy* developed known as “pause for the cause”. Our alcoholic beverage of choice goes into an unmarked container and we go out into the world. The need to pause from the cause comes from the fact that we always use giant wide mouth sports jugs. This is the employed person equivalent of a hobo drinking out of a paper bag. But these things aren’t friendly to your nose when you’re trying to walkdrink. So we sip, then walk, then pause for the cause to sip again. Trudy is like the coxswain of our boozy parade yelling out “Pause for the cause!” periodically to make sure the group stays together (in physical space and in blood alcohol content).

What’s that you say? We could quickly solve this problem with straws? First of all, having to pause for the cause is not a problem. Secondly, straws wouldn’t involve shouting or collective swigs which are the two things my friends and I aim to bring to every situation. Straws are for suckers.

To help the crowd stay in step, I wrote this as a walkable, bounceable swing diddy complete with my lively guitar licks. Don’t be afraid to throw some jazz hands into your sip, walk, pause regimen as long as you don’t drop your bottle.

*Names have been changed to protect the inebriated

Download the song: Pause for the Cause - The Power Hour Album

Get the T-shirt and gear:

Lyrics:
You can’t drink when you’re walking down the street because
You’ll make a mess. You gotta pause for the cause
Don’t worry about open container laws
The bigger problem is getting beer in your schnoz

You gotta sip, then walk, then pause for the cause, come on
Sip, walk, then pause for the cause, alright
Sip, then walk, then pause for the cause, come on
Sip, then walk, then pause for the cause

So next time you’ve got a travel cup and no straw
Just follow this one simple law

You gotta sip, walk, then pause for the cause, come on
Sip, then walk, then pause for the cause, alright
Sip, then walk, then pause for the cause, yeah
Sip, then walk, then pause for the cause

Categories: 60 Days of Drinking
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